Funny Ways of Doing a Christmas List

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A full-body laugh never goes amiss, especially in these times. Existential dread and daily turmoil tend to take a toll. So yeah, bring on the full-body laughs, the ones that get passed around a group until someone has to excuse themselves to catch their breath and stave off the urge to piss their pants. That's a good laugh, and you can be the person who makes it happen. Doesn't matter who you're holiday gift shopping for—a coworker whose sense of humor you don't particularly like, a dear friend who's organizing a White Elephant exchange, the king of dad jokes himself (your dad)—you'll find the best, most hilarity-inducing gag gift for them here.

A F*cking 2022 Boxed Calendar

This will get them through another 365 days of society-induced madness.

'From Crook to Cook'

Snoop's cookbook covers it all, from baked mac and cheese to lobster thermidor to snacks perfect for the munchies.

The Clearly Impossible Puzzle

Actually, this gift is fully deranged.

Personalized TV Cartoon Portrait

CustomArtCapital

Prices vary

Bojack, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Big Mouth...whichever makes them laugh most, order a custom still from the show that includes the artist's take on their cartoon persona.

Wine Condoms

No, they're not for that. They're stoppers for half-finished bottles of wine.

Bluetooth Banana Phone

Ring, ring.As pure a gag gift as gag gifts can get.

The Oregon Trail Handheld Game

Remember the death and destruction wrought by this game? Of course you do.

What to Watch Streaming Decider Dice

Let fate save them from another 27 minutes of miserably meandering through Netflix's home page.

'You're My National Treasure' Heat Change Mug

Upon opening this gift, they'll think you just gave them a plain black mug. Funny enough. Upon first use, however, it will reveal the king of memes himself, Nicolas Cage. Hilarious.

Shower Beer Holder

Life's simplest pleasure is sipping a cold beer in a hot shower. Give them a holder that makes it easy.

Shower Wine Glass Holder

The same goes for shower wine.

Student Loans Candle

It's been a rough 15 years. Or 30.

'Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America'

These are the essays that'll get them through the rest of the year—absolutely hilarious, awkward, and relatable.

Kevin Broccoli Wall Clock

Cue the theme music.

Minute Cocktail Sugar Cube Trio

For the person on your list too lazy to make themselves even a halfway-decent cocktail.

Flare Hair Visor Cap

There aren't many crises, personal or global, that a Guy Fieri wig won't immediately solve.

Liquid Death Mountain Water (12-Pack Tallboys)

Rock the fuck on. (This is literally just water in a can.)

Wonky Happy Face Grinder

This grinder promises a weird high and uncontrollable laughter ahead.

PureHell T-Shirt

This tee is topical in every sense of the word.

Electronic Talking Parrots

It's like that singing fish, but more persistent.

Salami Bouquet

Flowers wilt and die. But a meat bouquet? That'll last...well, probably half as long as the damn flowers.

The Rock Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt

May your holidays be jolly and nice—and filled with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Mini Beer Pong

Less lethal but just as riotously fun as the full-sized party classic.

"Yearbook"

A midlife memoir from the man responsible for more slightly stoned laughter than a hundred chimps in tuxedos on YouTube.

Adopt a Blue-Footed Booby

When you adopt a blue-footed booby through the WWF, you get an adoption certificate, a photo, and a little stuffed blue-footed booby. It's sillyand good for the earth.